I enjoy Amy Schumer. I think she’s funny, and I think the 12 Angry Men episode is spot on. I think it exemplifies almost everything we hate about the entertainment industry.  You know, it’s why video killed the radio star, right? Because all of a sudden you had to be one of the beautiful people to be a star. Beautiful according to a board meeting comprised of rich white men.

But hey, there’s something else I hate about the entertainment industry.

I hate the fact that they had to release this wonderful video just one step shy of a paywall. To view the video, you have to sign in to YOUR cable provider. I did so, because I really wanted to see the video. I was then assaulted with shitty, stuttering commercials. Once the video started, it was interrupted with a series of FIVE ads, some of which performed atrociously (stuttering… pausing… buffering…), after which the video resumed for a while, only to be interrupted by yet another series of five ads.

Seriously, what the FUCK is wrong with Comedy Central? They seem to be the only content provider that just can’t get it right. Before this, what I was used to on Comedy Central was pre-video advertisements that worked flawlessly, only to fizzle and die when the actual content started. Thanks, guys. Exactly what I wanted, to view an ad and then have my browser freeze before seeing what I came here to see. How come Youtube can get it right? Even porn sites do a better job than you.

At least this time, I could view the content. But jesus, does it all have to be so heavy-handed? What kind of Ebenezer Scrooge is running the advertising department over there, anyway? I’m going to break it down for you. You make things UNWATCHABLE. You do this often enough, and the savvy consumer will start to recognize a pattern. I did. What the pattern did to me was this: When I see a link to something I am interested in seeing, I pay attention to who’s serving it. If it’s comedy central, fuck it, it’s almost not worth it. Maybe I’ll look around to see if it has reached any other media outlets yet. I have better things to do than suffer content delivery that is often non-functional, frequently interrupted, and blatantly commercialized. Get yourself a modern user experience expert in there. It makes a difference, and you are losing eyeballs. Watching a great comedy video shouldn’t make the viewer angry at the provider. The provider is supposed to take a back seat once the content is underway.

I apologize that this post was less about Amy Schumer’s brilliant take on the entertainment industry’s ridiculous beauty standards in the form of a 12 Angry Men parody, and more about content providers’ relentless pursuit of the almighty dollar, AT THE EXPENSE OF THE CONTENT THEY PRETEND TO PROVIDE.

Seriously, Amy, GREAT JOB on that video. Great cast, great dialog, great message. You are hot enough. Sorry Comedy Central fucked you over.

Oh, and I’ll let you in on another little secret. INTERNET VIDEO ADVERTISING DOESN’T WORK. They’ve got you fooled into thinking it does, but it doesn’t.  Nobody buys that shit because they saw a video advertising clip.